Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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