His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
and she was petting her beer can
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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