All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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