hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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