Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
