i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
