I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
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