Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize