I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
