We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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