He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Randomize
