People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
