You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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