i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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