Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
In America we eat man semen.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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