In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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