So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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