Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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