Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Randomize
