Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
