I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
