I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
