i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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