but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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