Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Found your dick twin last night
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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