Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
