There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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