you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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