I bet he comes in French.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
