we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
