My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
