Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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