Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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