I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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