I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Randomize
