Where did you get a picture of my penis
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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