I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
