Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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