if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
