every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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