Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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