I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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