the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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