I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize