I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
