I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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