she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
