I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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