I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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