i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
