I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think people are normalizing furries
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
