We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
