I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
