he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
