I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize