We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
