did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
