She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
