I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
