omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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