I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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