Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
