I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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