So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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