I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
