In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's not a walk of shame if you run
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I forget how to act sober
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